Wednesday, January 18, 2017

ZSA ZSA clothes!! AND the need for CAZS!

You know what really kills me, repeatedly? The fact that the English language has no sound, no spellable sound, for the "zs" of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Zsa Zsa, the woman, with the cigarette holder and maribou that the name Zsa Zsa implies.


My old friend's cat is named Zsa Zsa. But much more importantly (especially since old friend married and took off for Long Island nary to be heard from again) is the fact that I find myself needing to spell out half of the word casual, i.e., : CAZS, (Cajg? Cashj? There is no spelling!!!!!) every single day.

WHY, ENGLISH LANGUAGE???????

Zsa Zsa Gabor, by the way, is the opposite of casual. She was a famous actress, although all I heard of her when I first did was that she slapped a cop in LA at the age of eighty or so. Lookitup! It's true.

Here are some Zsa Zsa-worthy items you can claim for your very own and wear or gaze upon whenever this ultra cashjz world has got you so mad you'll slap a policeman who tells you that taking stop lights casually is not okay, even for YOU!


Wake up and step into this robe. Don't even let one second of your day be without something shiny, pink, or with a satin rose on it. There's just no need!




If you have a business meeting, put on this 80s couture dress. Don't deliberate over it. Red is a power color. Dress up and don't be afraid of bows. SASHAY!


This goes underneath:


Duh. Never let your body touch anything but satin and lace. It's a disgrace to do otherwise.


If you have something more serious and dour than a business meeting to attend to, like a funeral or an interview to hire a maid, then perhaps these black items will work better than the bright red:


Pouffy dark witch dress with asymmetrical strap in back.

Or this:

(for when you need something dour but please, you are who you are.)



or


(Heels always, obviously.)

And you're good to go. 


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                                                            Buh bye!



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Thursday, January 5, 2017

HOLIDAY VINTAGE! What to Wear for the Casual Holiday Party

December. After the thrill of skittering leaves and wearing burgundy has passed, it's time to pile on the green, gold, glitter and even some huge and shining Christmas-ornament earrings that will bobble below your lobes just as tipsily as you could hope to be walking at any given holiday party. Musing upon what to wear for holiday occasions is pretty much just as fun as thinking up decorating for the holidays (glitter) holiday manicures (glitter) and holiday baking (yes, glitter.)


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But we're talking about clothes here. And while swanky soirees may be in my mind, in my family, holiday time is more casual. As much as I'd like to wear bright green, sequin-bedecked leggings, I need to calm my sequin fantasies JUST A BIT.  Because a holiday outfit for me is one in which I will be sitting around for hours, eating, drinking, shout-singing to my father's piano playing, and only getting up to get another drink, more dessert, or to terrorize my nephews and cousin's kids by running at them with a monster voice and horrible face. I don't want to have to worry about some little Hurcalees a-grabbin on to my cool lariat or what have you. I WOULD have a lariat, I tell you!!



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So for my holiday outfit,  things need to be cozier, more casual. Not cargo pants casual, for God's sake. But still.

This year, I actually feel my ahn-sahm was a little too- TOO. You know? Why do I always have to? Why can't I just wear some cute blue suede booties, skinny jeans, and a seasonally appropriate, hunter- green, oversized sweater, as one of my mother's one hundred Land's End catalogs has pretty much convinced me??

I mean look at this Land's End woman:


If that's not holiday casual and so freaking APPROPRIATE then I really don't know what is. (However I can not abide this lack of glitter on her person.) (PS, what's in the box? I feel it is a battery-powered facial scrubber with rotating head. Is that just me?)

Next year, I will have a cozy and casual outfit. NEXT YEAR! For now, here are some holiday causal outfits for your own cozy, rather practical, but still seasonal and festive day.

Viola! -- Oversized wool turtleneck:



Or perhaps a classic wool V neck?



(Despite my purposeful strain towards casuality, I am now feeling that metallic gold pants would go best with these sweaters to create that swingin' holiday vibe! Picture it! Next to a crackling fire!)


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Hell yeah baby. Martini time.

*Clink*

Ok, so now that I've worked it out mentally here, I can now formulate and visualize the perfect causal but festive and holiday-ish outfit. Do things like these apparently come natural to some people?
Well good for them! As for me, in conclusion:

the above casual items, plus metallic gold ankle pants-- YES, FLUFFSHOP!--


or maybe some less constricting looking ones for better pie eating in comfort-- I love these below from Jackpot Jen--


That's casual festive! Add a little shine, a little bobble--








and these truly AB FAB heels!






Next year, self. Next year I will DOMINATE CASUAL FESTIVE!!!


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Casually, like. No biggie.


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