What to Wear When You're In Love with an Asshole

SO! You’re in love with an asshole.

Well, first of all, take one chunk of shitty-feelings off your shoulders by realizing that you are not alone. Have we not all loved assholes at one time or another? Or have we not all loved a person who was maybe alright but acted like an asshole to us?

God, it’s that kind of over-empathy which gets us in these positions.


via GIPHY

Not sure who those people are but the girl is on point, I know it.

Anyway. I can honestly say, better to have loved an asshole than not at all. I really can. Please don’t click away from the page right now when I say that the experience of loving someone fully is something to behold. If they’re an asshole, then they lose you, though. And you cry. But really, to love, to behold, to adore someone…

Well, you know the feeling.

But what should you do when you love an asshole?

Cozy up, my dear, and let’s talk about it.

Put on a robe

(o)

Or a chemise to make your horrid not-leaving-the-apartment look feel a little more fabulous

(o)

And then take a good look at your walking shoes

(o)

Because eventually you are going to do just that.

Might as well get your coat, too (o)

Because ya on yer way.

You know it, and I know it.

Now. Your asshole is charming, loving, thoughtful, sincere. Maybe literally, (and good for you if so!) but I mean this metaphorically, about your asshole mate/partner/would-be love/person-who-is-driving you crazy. Basically they're all that and a bag of sweet and salty chips, but s/he just can’t seem to stay that way when more than four feet in gazing distance away from you, right? Right.

The thing is, they had a very bad childhood. And/or are an alcoholic, drug addict (shall we add thief?), cheater (but only because they thought you'd really left them!) And/or, the greatest of all, they're just "going through something." :D CONGRATS, asshole! Now I, too, am  going through something!
Ahem.
It's really not just STDs that spread between lovers. It's almost every single thing about a person.

In any case, this person literally, in some way, shape or form, has some reason they simply CANNOT do the decent thing with you. (I.e., treat ya right.) Treat you just-  nice. Like- ALL THE TIME. Like, even when you are not staring into love/asshole's eyes, stroking hair from love/asshole's face. Even then!  

No matter what the "reason" why, this person is not good for you. The reasons for bad treatment are myriad. They may be very sad for your love/asshole, but it is YOU who's actually crying about it, eh? EH??

THINK ABOUT THAT!

So, the bottom line is, you need what you need. A relationship is about TWO people, darling! TWO! And YOU are one of them, with actually JUST AS MUCH NEED/RIGHTS TO BE HAPPY as the other, no matter his/her sad and sorry state. Do they cry about you? Are they writing in their journal/songs/documentary/inotes about you? Or is it just YOU doing that?

Another thing to ponder.

Are you the star of their story, as they are yours (which is becoming a weepy tragedy)? In the end, the reasons for assholishness do not matter. Maybe sociologically they're interesting. Maybe anthropologically, maybe in a gnarly and slanted bio pic about his life, maybe THAT is where all the interest and empathy can go as far as Why Your Love/Asshole Must Be This Way. But for you, and YOUR STORY--

(I.E. :: YOUR LIFE!)

-- it doesn’t matter. What should matter to you is YOUR story, and that what’s happening in it lately is that you are being shit on. Yes. What does an asshole do? It shits. It shits, and it is shitting- on you.

I never thought about it that way!! But dang, really fitting.

It does suck that even as we speak you’re probably a little uncomfortable because of a UTI of a recent enthusiastic love fest. It's annoying that if your asshole acts assholish about your demand to be treated just *decently* ---then you feel bad.

But don't reason with an asshole. It will just stink and get messy.

Put on some comfortable, or sexy, or bright and I-mean-business clothes, go outside of your house and be around things, think about things, do things, that are not stinking of the asshole who is causing you pain. Just go outside of your story for a minute. Look around and you will find things that lift you and reassure you.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4WgGOqgWbY

It's true that true love hurts. Right? Cuz it gets in deep, like lemon juice in a cut. But sometimes things hurt and it just ain't right, like he invites you to a party and you get all dressed up and then he doesn't introduce you to anyone and you stand next to him like the mute unic servant and he simply listens while people console him on another woman.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic0kVyWORqA

Good luck, lady. Think about this: you deserve just as much care and attention as he does.
What he feels should not determine your reality.